Flash Drive and the Love Story

Warning. This is a love story. If you are doing something while reading this, I strongly advised that you do one thing at a time. This needs your undivided attention. Focus is of paramount importance.

Yesterday, I bought a new flash drive. Where’s the love story? Wait. Don't be too excited. The reason is, I need a new one to replace what has been lost or what has been stolen. I cannot really tell which is which. I just knew one day, I don’t have it during my search and rescue inside my bag. Truth is, I need a storage for an information I need to transfer to the web. Remember the love story? Yes, this is it.

My former student just broke up with his girlfriend. How did I know? Through his FB wall. Today, FB does not only connect friends, it has become our expression wall. This is where a few cry out in utter desperation, lambaste a person he despises so much, ask forgiveness, and court his or her significant other.

He posted, “Please give me one more chance.” Well, this is not about Popoy and Basya but like that movie, this is all about surviving the loss of a love. He pleaded. He wanted to be felt. He wanted a love back. I attempted to make his emotional burden a little lighter by offering Red horse but he said no. Few days after he took a break from FB.

I am no-love expert…yet. (Although I admit, I am a sucker of romantic comedy movies.) So I need the help of an authority. Jet, a fellow blogger, lent a book, How to Survive the Loss of a Love, to Emmylou (also a blogger) for that same purpose. Intrigued about how the authors could make you really survive the loss of a love, I borrowed it. Now I wonder, will it make a difference, reading when you suffer loss at the moment and when you’re not? I remember vividly that as Jet handed the book, she excitedly mentioned of the emergency hotline mentioned in Page 2. It said, “If you are experiencing a loss and are in need of emotional first-aid, please turn directly to page 20”. And in page 20 wrote:

“You will survive

You will get better.

No doubt about it.

The healing process has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Keep in mind, at the beginning, that there is an end. It’s not that far-off.

You will heal.

Nature is on your side, and nature is a powerful ally.

Tell yourself, often, “I am alive. I will survive.”

You are alive.

You will survive.”

I remember in grade school when few of my classmates would let me write in their flashy scrapbook. Most often I took them home so that I will the liberty to 1) think hard of giving the most serious answers, and 2) read what has been written by my other classmates (lol…). Question number 1: what is love? Imagine a 4th grader defining what love is. And I think, most of my classmates, have a common definition which I suspected to have come from past generations. It said, “Love is a like a bubble gum, kung mupilit makabuang”. Whoever originated that definition already left a legacy on love. Even I, have memorized it. Does he know that his definition is more popular than him? Is he still alive?

One day I was wandering around a small shopping center in Dumaguete. The time when, out of nothing to do, you read everything your eyes meet. I was walking downstairs when my gaze was riveted to a medium-sized poster, considerably attention-grabbing because of its artistry. And in the poster are the words:

“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;

Love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly;

it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails…But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13

This is the unarguably the most beautiful definition of love. This is what love should be. This is what love can do. This is love in its truest and purest state.

I have heard many love stories told in the ‘first person’. Some are coupled with romance, suspense, comedy, action; some even goes with horror.

I have seen love stories at the onset 'til it blossomed. Some withered and died. Few have recuperated. Few eventually died.

Maybe I am what J.D. Salinger mentioned in his book. I wanted to be, not “a catcher in the rye”, but a catcher of love stories. And I will be writing beautiful love stories that will make people skip a meal, skip work, skip a fart, and their hearts skip a bit.

My Love Language

This is not just about romantic love. This is about expressing and receiving love in a general viewpoint. I mean relationship of all sorts. Romance. Work. Friendship. Family.

For the intense love of toastmasters, which I refer to as addiction in my previous articles, three constipated human psyche convened to share their common interest. Discussing things, over a cup of coffee. Table topics with sense and a little nonsense to be more accurate. The topic? Our common denominator! Oh well, we piled up a truckload of common sentiments but at least we have not gone sentimental over the issue.

Along the highway of a kilometric conversation, we met in a three-way-crossroad. Emmylou, Jabez, and myself share the love of books and the passion for reading. And off sprouted the dogged idea of putting up a book club in Bacolod. Eagerness filled us all. The moment can be described as magnanimously magnificent.

The first book, Don’t Throw Away Tomorrow, unfortunately is not available in bookstores. We acquiesced that this is beyond our scope so we let go of the first book. So it seemed a not-so-nice jump-off. We settled for the second suggestion, The Five Love Languages of Love for Singles by Gary Chapman. Though at this point, we have not yet met to discuss the book, I am now writing my thoughts.

According to the author, Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 love languages. These are Words of affirmation, Quality time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Worth noting though is that, one person may be bilingual, meaning to say, he speaks/shows two of the aforementioned languages.

I already have some inkling that my love language is words of affirmation. And yes it is after reading and confirmed after taking the profile test at the end. It really did not catch me by surprise. Ever since I knew that for me, “The tongue has the power of life and death”.

For an unknown reason, I take words so seriously. Written or Spoken. It will take me sometime to get over the hurts that are derived from the poignant words cast to me. Most of my friends say, don’t mind. But I don’t have the power not to. Unsurprisingly, it takes ten positive words to forget one negative word, according to a study.

I have a need for people to affirm to me. They say the greatest criticism is the lack of reaction. Moreover, they say, if you don’t have anything nice to say, shut up. But this is not what I mean. Words can be played skilfully like keys in the piano to make it sound better and suit our hungry ego. It’s not the words! It’s the manner of saying it! This is a daunting task, if I may appeal, as it takes a lot of introspection and a lot of practice too. I am not spared, I admit. More often than not, the dictates of our heart prevails over the mind. As such many relationships falter.

Thus, I have learned that being a social being in the midst of other social beings, being nice does not hurt.

As I leaf through the last page of this book, may I always be reminded that everything in this world is fleeting except for one – how well I have established relationships with people around me.