My Newest Toy

Learning to play the keyboard is long overdue in my to-do list. Some things just get into the way. And I left that dream around the corner. Last week, that yearning seemed uncontrollable. Finally I took that one step like a surge of angry river after a storm.

Now, I am in my day 2 of keyboard lesson at Yamaha School of Music. And I finally bought my newest toy!

The Piano Man

Music does not run in our blood. As far as I know. My parents are no good singers or instrumentalists. Although I have an aunt, my father’s sister, who is part of a church choir for many years until now, I consider her an outlier. I am still convinced that the verity of my first statement is beyond question.

When I was 8, I was belting (or so I thought) “Sayang na Sayang” by Manilyn Reyes which at that time reigned the airwaves. I don’t have yet my low tonal quality or what my voice mentor called baritone voice. Kids are no falsetto singers. I am not an exception. However, when I sing in the house, nobody listened to me. And nobody told me I sang well. Or even clapped their hands. Or even smiled when they passed by me. Or any gesture that can be considered ‘nice” in the face of a child, to show even a little appreciation. In other words, when I sing, it’s about me and my own world. So I grew up thinking, singing is not for me.

Until high school days when school programs and presentations were common events that my classmates always volunteer me to sing. Of course they were not successful. At the end of the day, their incessant pleadings do not convince my already made-up conviction that I am no singer. Although my classmates heard me sing million times in my unguarded moments anywhere, they cannot hear me on stage.

At the age of 23, when I was already working,I took what I consider the road less traveled. Finally, I was joining a singing contest, company-related that is. Things were different now. I cannot refuse to my boss or should I say in general viewpoint, we loose the power to refuse to our bosses. I represented my department in the first round of elimination. There were three who joined that week. I sang “Hanggang” by Wency Cornejo and placed 1st. Was I too direct? Hahaha! Then came the finals night, where all 6 winners in the elimination rounds will compete. I sang “You” by Basil Valdez and placed 4th. Meaning to say, I lost. I drank three bottles of Red Horse until the last drop after the contest.

The next year, I joined in the same contest and almost the same order of events took place. The little difference was that I sang “Say That You Love Me” by Martin in the elimination round and “Hanggang” in the finals night. After the contest, I did three bottoms up of Red Horse plus a lesson in hand not to sing “Hanggang” in a Singing Contest if in case I join again, which at this point is very vague.

The opportunity to sing just keeps coming to me that I sang in the Midyear Conference of Toastmasters held in Antipolo City. It was a singing contest with a twist. All contestants were given the songs (five songs for male and five songs for female) to practice. At the time of the contest, that’s when we will know what to sing. The songs were, “This is the Moment, Kailangan Kita, Say That You Love Me, She, and She’s Out of My Life” Among the songs, I prayed, “Lord, let it not be “she’s out of my life”. When I was on stage, I sang the line, “And I don’t know whether to laugh or cry”. Now you know God delays some prayers. The result will not surprise you. Journalism tells me not to write the obvious.

I thought in my solitary moments (which by the way is overflowing to the brim in my life) to try other outlets of music other than singing.

I have a colleague who owns a grand piano at home. It was a birthday gift to her by her dad. She used to play well as her father wanted her to be. One day she suddenly revealed her early plans for 2010 including piano lessons once again. And I said to her, “Count me in”. Hopefully, nothing comes into the way. Who knows, I am really meant to be a Piano Man.

Oh, speaking of the Piano Man. I was in a hotel last December 26, when I heard of a beautiful sound. It was just too splendid, magical, and beautiful not to notice it. There is something in the piano sound that revitalizes and soothes a human soul. I went out of my way to join him and stood proudly beside the piano. I asked him of he could play one request but he's generous enough. He played 3 masterpieces, “Hanggang”, “Ikaw ang Lahat sa Akin”, and “King and Queen of Hearts” of course with me singing like its the greatest performance of my life. I didn’t even notice people dining were already smiling at me. Did I just fulfill a dream? Unexpectedly. Thanks to the Piano Man!

FRUSTRATIONS

“Jay, you are out of tune”. This was the comment that I received from my music teacher in Grade 5. I still carry that until now, struggling to prove, her hearing was abnormal!

I am a frustrated singer. I wanted to be like Martin Nievera. Yes. I wanted to record an album and do concerts. I wanted to become a singer.

When I was in grade five, our music teacher called us to sing, It’s a Small world, one by one, in front of the class. It was like an audition in the American Idol where aspiring singers line up in queues singing their best. Some get into the top 100 while others are rejected. I could sympathize with those who are rejected because I was also rejected by my teacher. Being a child, I could never forget that part of my life, where I was deprived of the thing that I really would want to do.

The first OPM song that I knew how to sing was a personal favourite of my mother. There’s never a day that she won’t sing this Imelda song while preparing breakfast for us. She would always belt the song with the lines, “At kung liligaya ka, Sa piling ng iba, At kung ang langit mo ay ang pag-ibig nya, Tututol ba ako, Kung kagustuhan mo, Sapat na ang minsan, Minahal mo ako.” Being repeatedly sung by her every morning I was able to sing and memorize the lyrics of the whole song.

Since I was a child, I have always been a lover of music. The thing that is uncertain though is whether music loves me too. I have quite a broad knowledge in music. I know some technicalities of music like sharps-when you hit the note higher than required in the piece, flats-the opposite of sharps, vibrato-the resonating sound, and voice classifications like baritone which is in between bass and tenor. I also know a lot of music trivias. Jed Madela, is the first Filipino to win the grand prize in the World Championships of the Performing Arts. Vina Morales is the first Filipino and the first Champion in the Asian Aikon Music Festival. I have been a follower of local music contests. Sarah Geronimo won in the Star for a Night, of which her runner up is Mark Bautista. Rachel Ann Go won in Search for a Star. Eric Santos was grand Champion in Star in a Million beating the petite Cebuana Sheryn Regis. Coming from that show is balladeer Christian Bautista.

Poetically, music is defined as the language of the soul. Yes it is. I have a wide selection of songs in my heart and fellow toastmasters will you allow me to sing some of them? Just kidding. Songs tell a lot of stories. I have always been fascinated of Broadway songs like Somewhere form the musical West Side Story and On my Own from Les Miserables. There are songs that will inspire us and lift our morale called Gospel Songs. Gary Valenciano is know for his gospel songs like “Take me out of the dark, Warrior is a Child, and Natutulog ba and Diyos. The all time favourite genre of all ages, the ballads or commonly called love songs. Songs that come from the heart. Songs of lovers in love. Songs that will hold our breath. Songs that will palpitate our hearts. Songs of the heartbroken. Songs of the inspired. Top of my song list is Martin Nievera’s Each day with you and Brian Mcnight’s One last cry.

Putting my frustration into action, last year, I enrolled in a voice lesson class. However I will not tell you the name of the music studio and my voice teacher. I believe, it will do justice for the both of us. The lessons went on for 2 months. Sure did learn a lot from her but it came to a point where everything is routinely done. I stopped and tried to enrol in another voice lesson class. Sadly, we only had one singing session since her rate was double than my previous studio. I just sighed telling myself, I am not in perfect timing.

In the course of living this life, I have had received comments, destructive and constructive, but one thing remains for sure. I would still live this life surrounded with good music, singing my heart out when I’m in euphoria or depressed. I would still be singing, this is the moment, this is the day, when I send all my doubts and demons on their way, every endeavour, I have made ever, is coming into play, is here and now today.

Fellow toastmasters I still dream that one day I will be able to sing to all of you. Will you?