If Tomorrow Never Comes

Statistics and I have some unresolved issues. It rooted from the time when my Statistics teacher would just barge inside the classroom and tell us let to draw a Probablity curve. No, it's not the drawing activity that started the trouble. I love drawing. Well, not really drawing. I mean, doodling, or aimless drawing to be more honest. The trouble was, finding x in the curve. And most of the time I can't find my X. 

I may have hated finding my X under the curve but I have learned some statistics lesson. One, the probability of you being struck by lightning is higher than winning a 6-digit combination in the lottery. No wonder, ever since in grade school, i have not won in any game of chance such the very common, raffle draw. I just ended up waiting eagerly, hands clasped, and then walked away with bare hands. Statistics must be correct!

Probability as a branch of Mathematics, teaches us that some events in our life can be quantified in its likelihood to occur. If you toss a coin, the Probability of getting a head is 50%. Your chances of getting a natural tan in the beach can now be predicted in percentage.
Probability as a tool makes us confident. It makes us calculate the risk in the table. It gives us a more informed decision.

But what about our life? What about the number of years in our lifetime? Can we find that under the Probability Curve?

When I was around 10 years old, I thought I kissed death already. It was a cold month of December when my family crossed the sea going to the scenic island of Siquijor. The sky was overcast. The wind was blowing hard. We were on board a small pump boat made of wood and bamboo. As we sailed, the creaking sound of the wooden parts grew louder as the big waves slapped mercilessly our boat. The smell of the sea crept in as it entered through the small, circular holes just above the floor. The loud banging of the wooden windows interrupted our silent yet intense prayers. The deep exhaling as the pump boat dived down, very abruptly, that sometimes, I felt it cannot make its way up, was terrifying. And how I wish at that moment I can float in the air so that I can help the boat go up. That lasted for an hour. And for that one hour of fear and paranoia my life just hanged by a thread. 

We have heard two news of an untimely death just recently. One involving a Glee star, Cory Montieth, who died very young because of drug and alcohol overdose. And second, we mourn over the death of District 75 Trainer, TM Pat Pascua. She died from a high blood pressure. We saw, how alive she was when she conducted the training last July 20. Only four weeks had passed, and we lost TM Pat. Who would think it will happen?

And then we think of our own lives. How long can we live? How many days? How many months? How many years?

No one knows. Only Him. How I wish my statistics teacher can. How I wish I can plot my number of years under the Probability curve. How I wish I can just say, " I have 80% chance to survive today. It's a great day! Or "Oh no, I only have 10 % of surviving today. I should be extremely cautious." Unfortunately, Probability will not. Science will not. Our life, unlike X ,cannot be found under the probability curve.

Tomorrow is, but a promise. Today is what we have. Today is the best time of our life. Today is the best time to be kind to everyone. Today is the best day to help. Today is the best day to be happy.

There is no other day, but today. Live today like it's your last. Make it count. Life is not about taking chances. Life is about making things happen.

The Opportunity to Look Smart in Toastmasters

Finding the Road to BARANGAY

              My focus shifted when I heard my cell phone ticked a pitchy, abrupt tone. One message received. The text read, “TM Jay, can you please evaluate TM Gay Marie Gane? She will deliver her Basic Speech Project 3.” Time would testify that during my early years in toastmasters, the word NO is not in my dictionary. So it follows that I replied, “Yes!” Gay delivered with gay strides. Then suddenly that awkward feeling rushed like waterfalls with the realization that that the speaker is better than the evaluator. That was before! (Imagine an impish smile. No. Not really. Imagine the Jay kind of laugh. Hahaha.) When I stood in front to begin my evaluation, I started with the line, “I am very happy to evaluate you, TM Gay Marie Gane (I mispronounced as Gayn). Then I heard everyone chorused, “Gane!” And that turned me mute for five seconds. At the back of my mind, I staged my own monodrama.  “Jay, don’t feel bad. Why should you? Mistakes happen.  Smile. Smile! (I forced myself.) What does not kill makes you stronger Jay.” And my consoling worked. Well, it always does. The evaluation continued and I finished it without fainting from embarrassment. “Lord, thank you.”

            In March 2009, I wrote an entry in my blog about the course of delivering my 10 basic speeches. Then I experienced an AHA moment! Eight out of my ten evaluators are Barangay Toastmasters. Distinguished Toastmaster Greg evaluated me three times; DTM Ro – twice; DTM Juliana Tan – twice; and Gov. Ester for my 8^th speech project. Anyone who has the same statistics as I have, please let me know and I will treat you Starbucks Coffee. You have to trust me on this one. I mean it! The reward comes from the fact that, standing before their eyes, is a decision you have won over as your mind wrestles between self-preservation and self-destruction. Of which after I have delivered a speech, I grew bigger as a toastmaster. I mean figuratively. Although, literally too. After the speech, I eat twice as much to make up for the lost calories from all the sweating, trembling, and shaking.

            When I became President of Riverside TMC in 2010, some of the creative strokes I did in our meeting were not originally mine. I learned them in BTMC.  Themed Meetings. This is markedly BTMC brand where toastmasters attend in gaudy costumes. Parliamentary Procedures. I remember, in a business portion I handled, in the beginning of my term, TM Mario made a motion. And I am Mr. Clueless guy whose vocal chord was ripped off. DTM Ro played Mr. Rescuer as he literally fed me words to reply to the motion. It’s a good thing that DTM Ro has a habit of sitting near the rostrum. Creative Table Topics in the form of Magazine Covers, Song Titles and Movie Lines. Bottomline is: One cannot measure creativity; simply because it is boundless. I was so excited to lead the club because I know I have mentors who are just over the fence. It will only take one call or even one text message, and their feet will start stomping in the Planters Den of Sugarland Hotel.

            On June 01, 2007, people start addressing me a Toastmaster. For the past four years, I have seen Exciting times. Of course the Bad times as well. I have witnessed the founding of new clubs and the death of the few others. In fact, my club is not spared. But because we are named after a Hospital, we have always been resuscitated and revived. We refuse to die. But there is only one club in the Division which has remained adamant in the challenge of times, dogged in its pursuit for quality meetings, and resolute in building membership – the Barangay Toastmasters Club.

            In my toastmaster journey, finding the road that leads to Barangay TMC, marked the beginning of a wonderful joy ride as a Toastmaster.

Talking About Simple Joys

CAfe Specials. A Comedy in 3 Acts: Appetizer, Main Course, and Dessert. The play was light in theme. Very relatable. And yes it was funny. I had the chance to talk to the writer before the play started, so I asked him what force gave way to the staging of Cafe Specials. So he explained that he pitched in the idea to the owner of Museum Cafe which is just nearby the headquarter of Performance Laboratory. I appreciate the fact that a play such as this one, not staged in school, turned very successful. The venue was fully packed. And the audience roared in laughter. Because the actors can really act and the story is beautifully mundane.

Toastmasters.

Then,

Hardwork pays off, you win. Of course, I must say that there is still no substitute for oozing self-confidence. Trust me.

The Athleticism in Me and a little Vanity!

Thank you Lord!

Past and Present

SUPERMARIO

I cannot certainly imagine what toastmasters would be like not having him around!
I immensely admire him because of three things; his humor, optimism, and charisma.

I am talking about the toastmaster who inspired Toto to sign-up as a toastmaster. I am talking about the toastmaster whom TM Kim identifies with. I am talking about the toastmaster who became the first Division D Governor, Competent Toastmaster, Competent Leader Mario Pao.

Who says studying accounting makes one suicidal? And who says that studying the law is as difficult as forgiving? Not for TM Mario. He is both a certified public accountant and a lawyer yet he remained grounded. His humility always exudes in the way he speaks and the way he deals with fellow toastmasters, may it be the young ones or the once young, the seasoned or the seasonal toastmasters.

Apart from his outstanding leadership as Division Governor, he is very famous for his gift of humor. If Barangay Toastmasters Club has DTM Greg Vallejera, Riverside Toastmasters Club has CTM Mario Pao. I call it a gift because his jokes though recycled the nth time, he still makes everyone giggle. And I am one of them! Whenever he attends the meeting, it’s always a pain in the jaw. That’s how fun and crazy when he is around!
When I was the vice president for education, he was with the club through thick and thin. I remember him texting to all members, “Lakat na kamo di kay daw mapatay na club ta!” I must say that his love for toastmasters is beyond question. He is also one of the few members who never refused to roles assigned to him. His reply would always be, “Ok ko!” When I requested him to give a brief history of Riverside Toastmasters Club during the anniversary last Saturday, he immediately answered, “Ok” with an additional note, “Praktis ta saot.”
Yes. One of his self-professed talents is dancing. Until now he still thinks they won in that dance contest at the Davao District Convention”. According to TM Jam, he could be your dance instructor for only twenty pesos per hour.

During meetings, a lot of us may consider table topics as the most challenging. Yet, TM Mario, every time he expounds a table topic, he always does it smoothly and comfortably. His words, always positive and full of wisdom, make his speech glimmer like gold. When someone praises him, he would always reply, “Rest assured the feeling is neutral”.

Many toastmasters have always confessed their admiration to TM Mario. Count me in! Maybe someday, a monument will stand, in honor of his contributions as a toastmaster. In his monument will be these words, a passionate leader, a gifted humorist, and a toastmaster icon. However, to me he is simply called “Super Mario!"

The Cagayan de Oro Experience

I only know two things about CDO. One, it’s the city of Golden Friendship. Second, this is where the world-famous white water rafting should be in your must-to-do list. So when the chance to experience that kind of friendship, golden that is, and the exhilaration there is in cruising the CDO river, I had my ticket booked three months in advance.

Toastmasters has always been a blessing to me. It gave me lots of reasons to laugh. When I say laugh, I mean the laughter that hyenas do! It also brings me to places- near and far. Bago for instance during our Annual Youth Speechfest and to Cagayan de Oro this year for the 8th Midyear Conference.

The trip to CDO from Bacolod is a two-plane ride. We had to pass by Cebu where we spent around two hours of hyenas-like laughing, chit-chatting, munching, and surfing. Those activities were at random.

Time was up for Cebu. Now we breathe the CDO air and it was already past 12 noon. We took the van going to Marco Hotel. Cagayan de Oro reminds me of Dumaguete. People are slow-paced. The air is cold and fresh. The foliage are crisp and green!

When we arrived, that’s when I felt quite uneasy. Now the thought of competing sank in my mind. Few moments from now, I will be standing in front of all District 75 toastmasters present for the Table Topics Contest. Not only that, I had to practice for our duet of “This is the Moment”, which will be after the Impromptu Speaking Contest. I had to take things easy, I thought. So I inhaled and exhaled deepely and frequently. I will get by, I knew! Everything has an end.

The time came for me to speak. There were no supernatural events that delayed it or caused it to be postponed. My prayers were not answered. So I made my way to the stairs, quite graceful, (at least according to me) and safely landed on stage. I chose topic number 10 because I believe 10 is my lucky number! The contest chair read my topic, “If you were given a chance, what chance would that be?” Now you might be wondering if its true. Yes. Toastmasters are fun-addicts and they revealed that addiction in the Midyear Convention. That night, topics were crazy, silly, and sometimes out of comprehension! So I expounded on it. However, I cannot evaluate my self. Or else I will end up pulling my own leg. Did I win? Yes. I won against myself. I won against my fear. I won against my protective shell. Now, I’m a new toastmaster. Braver. More daring. More confident.

Dinner was served - sumptuous and delectable. I felt it was my prize. Then the duet competition made its start. This is the moment – our piece. Indeed it was the moment to prove to them I’ve made it on my own! Did I just sing? Its coincidence! Did we win? Yes. We won in the hearts of fellow toastmasters. We won in expressing what we want to do. We won in letting go of our indomitable passion.

Then next day came. We celebrated the holy mass to start our day. Then the last fun stop was the Talentadong Toastmasters! Our number was unexplainable. Maybe just like the table topics, it was crazy, silly, and beyond comprehension! The only thing I can say is that it was a conglomeration of acting, projecting, and oh this one will never elude us – singing! Did we win? NO. Ha! Ha!

Now the best part of the CDO visit dawned on us all by surprise. We never thought that the white water rafting will be as enjoyable as it turned out to be. In fact, there was an apprehension that the 3-hour-cruise might be too long. But no. The excitement that we carry in our sleeves from the starting point until we reached our final destination was a plateau. Escalating in every bend. Rising in every rapids. No dull, boring moments! The 12-kilometer river stretch was a promise of paradise. It was nature’s perfection within your spectacle. It was sheer beauty revealed.

Cagayan de Oro – I will see you again!

Toastmasters - Not Speaking English

So you think toastmasters group themselves with the rostrum, gavel, and microphone in their midst? And speak in kilometric phrases?

Not until March 13, 2010 when Div D let go of their consciousness to say ah’s, uhm’s, and other verbal crutches and headed their way to CICM, Talisay City for a day of physical activities, food trip, endless chit-chats, relaxation, nap, sleep, singing, and even not doing anything or “sight-seeing”. The last word is in quotation to mean their connotations. Well, that’s just a theory.

A day before, I made sure that I have my required 6-7 hours of sleep to be in attendance of what they officially call “Division D Sports fest”. This means I canceled my Friday nocturnal socializing. Oh, there’s the quotation again. That’s because I destined that day as a day to relax, sleep maybe in 10 minutes, breathe another quality of air, and not think of anything. If you have read my previous blog, you will know that I badly needed this R and R.

Mcdo Lacson served as the assembly place but ironically when I arrived, not a single soul is present. I sent a text message to TM Jaclyn whom I met before I came in and replied that all of them including Gov. Cherrie flocked to Jollibee for their breakfast. Poor Mcdonalds!

Eight o-clock ticked in my cellphone clock when I saw a group in yellow polo-shirt and the hair of the long-absent toastmaster Jabez. Then I saw Gov. Cherrie in grinning face and waved hi and hello. And suddenly TM Grazy caught my vision as she made a pose beside the huge façade of Mcdo. And the talking went louder and louder. The people around us might just be very tolerant. Forgive our being us.

And then I saw the “demanding” presence of TM Boy. Demanding because he was wearing fuchsia pink. Ahah! And here comes myself in black and white not knowing, it’s actually our official color. Who to blame? Not me.

Off we paraded the long but not winding Lacson street and before I knew it, we were at the venue, CICM. This is my second visit of the place which is really best for contemplation, retrospection and introspection.

The main event commenced with football with a twist. A perfect start maybe? I played football in college as part of my four PE subjects. I could still remember we trotted for long hours under the sweltering heat of the sun with my classmates in the huge Silliman ballfield for the love of the sport and the grade as well. Did my introduction reveal the winner? Hehehe.

Then volleyball came in next. I was told by TM Cyrus that we can’t possibly participate for the lack of a 6-player team. Out of my ferocious spirit, I made myself near to TM Boy G and said that we will compete anyway. The ambitious 4-player team is composed of TM Jabez (serves us our inspiration), the equally strong in spirit Cyrus, and the gregarious daughter of a toastmaster from Sparkle TMC. The sun at 11:30 am may be fierce but not as fierce compared to our doggedness to topple the complete 6-player team from NOCECO. We may be quantatively deficient, but we are qualitatively superior. Peace to Gov Cherrie. Hehehehe.

The “Dama” event was quite interesting. For the innumerable times that I have played the game and at some point in time considered myself a “dama” elite, I didn’t know that it is governed by international rules. Whoa! A game for the prisoners behind bar has international rules?! If you can’t play chess, you play “dama” and that’s me. Hehe. And by the way, if you are interested with the international ruling, you may contact Cyrus of FFTMC.

The cheering competition was the most exciting maybe. It was a showcase of cheers and yells which are statements of exaggeration and falsehood. Peace with a smile. Sparkle amazed the audience (composed of Emmylou, Jabez, Cyrus, and I) with their multihued costume and props, grace in dancing, unity in singing, and mastery in choreography. OMG! I didn’t know I am evaluating already! Huh! Am I in for a trouble! Wait, let me find my way out. Two other clubs also kissed our eyes with beauty and our ears with wit should I say.

We kissed the serenity of CICM with happy thoughts. Enough to create bonds together. Enough to foster new friendship. Enough to forget the busyness of city life.

Still

Right now, I am outside the Planters Den of Sugarland Hotel, quite earlier than usual. Of course i still have my favorite cup of cappuccino at the Twist plus a mouth-watering cheesecake. Earlier because the supposed 6th regular meeting of the Riverside Toastmasters Club have only me, Tm's Lorna and Mario in attendance.

I was the first to arrive in the room with only few lights on. There was no sound system yet. I did not bother to change anything in the room. I just sat in one of the chairs in front since I am supposed to be the toastmaster of the evening. When TM Mario arrived, we exchanged greetings, and noticed that the room is dim-lit. He made a remark and I immediately answered it meant something. He did not bother reply on what i have just said. Maybe he wasn't able to hear it. He switched on the lights. When he asked where are the others, I flawlessly enumerated their own businesses in fact I perfectly memorized all the reasons there are. Being the jokemaster of the club, he fearlessly said, dont they like me? At the back of my mind, I thought, maybe it is me whom they dont like. Whatever it is, as forecasted, only TM Lorna arrived after us but we still managed to have a heart-warming conversation, giggles, and laughter.

In 2007, I started my toastmaster journey. Unlike the normal way of things, I wasn't invited to become a guest. It was me who invited myself to toastmasters. Of course, I am very thankful to google for it gave me the number of the alluring CTM Emily Go-Villanueva. When I texted her how can I join a toastmasters club, without a downtime, she asked me what day would I be available. Saturday it is, so she gave me the cell nos of CTM Mary Lecias, who at that time was the Vice-President for Education and TM Lorna as the President. I was very eager to attend my first meeting but it was cancelled due to a very low attendance. My excitement for the second meeting still equals that of my first but unluckily we did not have a room for the meeting so we had to settle at the Twist where other people eat, discuss, drink, and whisper sweet-nothings.

It's been more than 2 years, and what a journey it has been. Contests, win or loose, are always rewarding. It may be a confirmation where do I stand among the others but more than that is the fact that I have half-won the battle by conquering myself. As one of the table topics quotation states, "The greatest battle is not fought in the world's battlefields but in the hearts of men as they fight against fear." Trophies shouldn't be vehicle or medium to flaunt and brag but rather a reminder of a great responsibility in helping other toastmasters hone their speaking skills.

Leadership, the not-so-famous benefit, in the eyes of non-toastmasters, is one thing that I have developed. I have learned to keep my promise in all roles that I have committed myself in-that's integrity. I have learned to adjust to all eclectic persona there are in the organization. I have learned to become more competent because I am in the midst of competent people. As it is in the desiderata, the only way to grow is to be with people better than you are.

Now, counting the past years, i am still that person very eager to become a toastmaster. How can I not be still, when I always have fun while learning life's lessons.

I would cease to be a toastmaster when the time comes that I am not capable of breathing.