Stories and More!

I am back! When the coffee reaches the brim, it overflows. Exactly how I felt right now. I am quite excited writing again. I have so much in mind that it speaks more than my fingers could transcribe.

Writing relaxes me. It’s rejuvenating. It’s my idea of relaxing a quite busy life for me these days.

As I write this, its 11:00 late night. I just finished attending our 4th Regular Meeting. Earlier, around 7:00 am, I took the hardest step to begin a day. That’s getting up from my bed and remove myself from the blanket of coldness in my room. I am scheduled that day to take my Midterm exam in Iloilo for my Masters which I am already in my second year. Although at times, I felt I am overloaded, I just close my eyes and sleep. That means I need to disconnect from the world. When I wake up, life is a promise again.

Second. I am now the President of Riverside Toastmasters Club. Clap! Haha! Toastmasters has always been a gift to me. In 2007, when I decided to become part of the organization, I felt that it was one of the most important decisions I have made. Not only that fellow Riverside Toastmasters became my second family in Bacolod, they made my Saturdays more fun, more exciting, and more fulfilling. Plus of course the fact that I enjoyed what we do as toastmasters.

Third. I am now exercising. Finally! It took me a while to decide on this. Until one day I just saw myself in front of the mirror. I didn’t like it. Although the result is not quite evident yet, wait. Patience is a virtue, isn’t it! When I attended a one-day seminar on dynamics of personal effectiveness, I learned that one of the seven characteristics of a good leader is they exercise for self-renewal. I said, never mind the six others! Haha!

Oh before I forget, I need your yells and shouts of congratulations! The reason? Just text me.

At the end of the day, life is not purely all about achieving all our goals. The recipe should include enjoying every bit and every minute in the process. That is why when I laugh; it’s as if, it’s going to be my last. Although someone threatened me to count my teeth when I open my mouth in laughter, I am not giving up. I have my two hands anyway. Good night folks!

I Wish I Were...

When life becomes too deplorable…When I cannot cope with the busyness of it…When I cannot comprehend its web-like complexity…When I cannot fathom the depth of the human psyche…When I loose the understanding between commitment and time-table…When I can’t seem to find myself…When I felt restless in the silence of the night...When life is like traveling in a sea of banality…When life’s a bitch and crap…

I wish I were a fisher folk and only think of making a catch. City dwellers will envy the freshness of the air…the greenery surroundings…the white-sand beach…the playful waves…the simple life.

I wish I were a farmer. When I am thirsty, I can have coconut water. When I’m hungry I can pick bananas from the trunk. When I’m tired, I can sleep under the shade of the tall tress. Life is simpler.

I wish I have the power to simplify. Anyone?

OUTPOUR of the Heart

I felt restless because of the words that i said. But deep inside me are words telling me that it was just an outpouring of my heart. I felt it was already too heavy to carry and it reached the brim of my emotional reservoir.

I had a serious talk with Sheila two weeks ago. Her words lingered until now, Jay you cannot do it alone. You are not the club. She was right. Sometimes, the best option is to say no, even if it means not following the dictates of your passion. Sometimes i thought of quitting. But no. It's against my will. I know the feeling is just fleeting. I will be back. I may detest it at the moment but I will find my way to it the soonest time. As I have said, I developed an addiction to it. So I had to cling to my passion! That's how i love toastmasters! It shed some light to me the dictum that says "we are happy when we are most miserable".

After one of our meetings, i had the luxury of a comfy ride with Jaclyn. She told me, time will come that its not fun anymore. Instead of being "destressed", its adds up to your daily stress. Am I near to it? I hope not.

Sometimes, i am grateful. Why? Because it moves me to write. Writing becomes my scheme for unloading the toxic contents of my heart. It is in the restlessness of my heart that i get to let it out and be renewed.

When will this last?

Still

Right now, I am outside the Planters Den of Sugarland Hotel, quite earlier than usual. Of course i still have my favorite cup of cappuccino at the Twist plus a mouth-watering cheesecake. Earlier because the supposed 6th regular meeting of the Riverside Toastmasters Club have only me, Tm's Lorna and Mario in attendance.

I was the first to arrive in the room with only few lights on. There was no sound system yet. I did not bother to change anything in the room. I just sat in one of the chairs in front since I am supposed to be the toastmaster of the evening. When TM Mario arrived, we exchanged greetings, and noticed that the room is dim-lit. He made a remark and I immediately answered it meant something. He did not bother reply on what i have just said. Maybe he wasn't able to hear it. He switched on the lights. When he asked where are the others, I flawlessly enumerated their own businesses in fact I perfectly memorized all the reasons there are. Being the jokemaster of the club, he fearlessly said, dont they like me? At the back of my mind, I thought, maybe it is me whom they dont like. Whatever it is, as forecasted, only TM Lorna arrived after us but we still managed to have a heart-warming conversation, giggles, and laughter.

In 2007, I started my toastmaster journey. Unlike the normal way of things, I wasn't invited to become a guest. It was me who invited myself to toastmasters. Of course, I am very thankful to google for it gave me the number of the alluring CTM Emily Go-Villanueva. When I texted her how can I join a toastmasters club, without a downtime, she asked me what day would I be available. Saturday it is, so she gave me the cell nos of CTM Mary Lecias, who at that time was the Vice-President for Education and TM Lorna as the President. I was very eager to attend my first meeting but it was cancelled due to a very low attendance. My excitement for the second meeting still equals that of my first but unluckily we did not have a room for the meeting so we had to settle at the Twist where other people eat, discuss, drink, and whisper sweet-nothings.

It's been more than 2 years, and what a journey it has been. Contests, win or loose, are always rewarding. It may be a confirmation where do I stand among the others but more than that is the fact that I have half-won the battle by conquering myself. As one of the table topics quotation states, "The greatest battle is not fought in the world's battlefields but in the hearts of men as they fight against fear." Trophies shouldn't be vehicle or medium to flaunt and brag but rather a reminder of a great responsibility in helping other toastmasters hone their speaking skills.

Leadership, the not-so-famous benefit, in the eyes of non-toastmasters, is one thing that I have developed. I have learned to keep my promise in all roles that I have committed myself in-that's integrity. I have learned to adjust to all eclectic persona there are in the organization. I have learned to become more competent because I am in the midst of competent people. As it is in the desiderata, the only way to grow is to be with people better than you are.

Now, counting the past years, i am still that person very eager to become a toastmaster. How can I not be still, when I always have fun while learning life's lessons.

I would cease to be a toastmaster when the time comes that I am not capable of breathing.

How Are You?

The question is no stranger. When we were younger, we were taught to answer the question with plain "I am fine, thank you". How sweet-sounding that is! But the question which used to be the simplest question one could ask and which seemed very easy to answer does not hold true anymore.

A friend at facebook asked me today, how are you? My reply was, i cannot articulate myself on the question. Thinking very hard, i really cannot find the right words to anwer. Could it be that i lost comprehension of my self? Or could it be that i am not okay and dont want anybody to know?

I had snacks this afternoon when a personnel at the canteen took the courage to ask me if i have any problem. Who wouldnt be shock raise your hand? That struck me enough that i paused to grasp some fresh air before i could utter anything. I said, why did you ask? She told me, she just overheard me. I could not remember. It even made me laugh as i got over it. Me and my big mouth. Made even bigger because of toastmasters (promotion..heheheh).

Back to the question? I still cant answer. Maybe tomorrow after i get my well deserved sleep.