LIVING IN SOLITUDE

I asked recently a colleague if there’s a term in psychology that refers to a person who enjoys in solitude most of the time. She seemed preoccupied with her analysis that she just earnestly smiled as an answer to my query.

"Why do you live alone in your rented house?"

The question above has been asked to me innumerably that in fact I have gotten used to it. And this is how it usually start.

Commencing a conversation with a stranger, (Let me first qualify the word “stranger”. It could be a friend of my friend, an auditor from another brewery, or a new colleague) one of the informations that will be asked is the location of your house. Then the trail of questions will follow. Take for example my case. Once they know that I am renting my own place. The follow-up question to that would be, "How many are you in the house?" My answer to that. "I live alone". As a follow-up to the follow-up question, would be "Why do I live alone?" If I may deduce the question, they wanted to know if it is a personal choice or a pure circumstance. So I would say it’s a choice. My answer will always elicit a conspicuous, pensive gaze shown in their eyes riveted on my face. "Are you a loner", they would ask. "I am not", I would answer.

My growing up years is not extraordinary. I am like any other child.

Rainy days are blissful days. I play mud, trying to make artistic forms and shapes of anything conceivable under the rain. Playing hide and seek becomes more fun, when running is made difficult by the slippery ground. We choke in laughing when we see someone slide over and fall.

Sunny days are doses of happiness. The fields and the outdoors are my haven for excitement and fun. Swimming with friends from sun dawn to sun dusk on weekends is an activity to look forward to. On some days when we become lazy to walk the long distance going to the beach, we would busy ourselves creating the most gaudy and gigantic kites. And then we compete whose kite soared the highest.

Dissecting my childhood memories, I am certainly not a loner. I take pleasure in the company of friends.

More so when I was in school. You will rarely see me singly in the campus. I practiced badminton with co-varsity players. I interviewed campus personalities for my feature story in our publication. I camped with fellow classmates during science week celebrations. I led as an officer in student organizations and clubs. Long before I know that it is fun to be with other people.

After I painstakingly finished all my academic requirements, it marked the time to bid goodbye to the comforts of my home. It signaled the moment to embrace living separately with my parents and live to a place I can consider my home.

Economics tells me that life is difficult. Therefore, people who are perplexed why I live independently in a house is comprehensible. They may be correct and sound to do that gesture for practicality reasons but I chose to stick to the wisdom of living independently.

Living independently made me a different person.

I decide on where and what food to eat to satisfy my own craving. I manage to wake up without other people pulling off my hands. I plan my activities for the rest of the day without the consent or approval of someone else. I clean my place which makes me conscious of my own litter. I brush the tiles and bowl in my CR. I take time in taking a bath without having to worry for the next users. I read books free from distractions of human sounds. I sing my heart out anytime I want. I trip off or put on the fluorescent lamp any time of the day. \

This is the picture of living in solitude. And that is not to detach myself from other people.

I am in full control of my life. I am a mature, young professional who has found his niche outside the portals of the academe. I am now a person who stands on my feet gripping fully on my cognitive capacity to decide on my own.

I am a person who chose to live in sheer solitude. I, who knows the wisdom of living independently.