FRUSTRATIONS

“Jay, you are out of tune”. This was the comment that I received from my music teacher in Grade 5. I still carry that until now, struggling to prove, her hearing was abnormal!

I am a frustrated singer. I wanted to be like Martin Nievera. Yes. I wanted to record an album and do concerts. I wanted to become a singer.

When I was in grade five, our music teacher called us to sing, It’s a Small world, one by one, in front of the class. It was like an audition in the American Idol where aspiring singers line up in queues singing their best. Some get into the top 100 while others are rejected. I could sympathize with those who are rejected because I was also rejected by my teacher. Being a child, I could never forget that part of my life, where I was deprived of the thing that I really would want to do.

The first OPM song that I knew how to sing was a personal favourite of my mother. There’s never a day that she won’t sing this Imelda song while preparing breakfast for us. She would always belt the song with the lines, “At kung liligaya ka, Sa piling ng iba, At kung ang langit mo ay ang pag-ibig nya, Tututol ba ako, Kung kagustuhan mo, Sapat na ang minsan, Minahal mo ako.” Being repeatedly sung by her every morning I was able to sing and memorize the lyrics of the whole song.

Since I was a child, I have always been a lover of music. The thing that is uncertain though is whether music loves me too. I have quite a broad knowledge in music. I know some technicalities of music like sharps-when you hit the note higher than required in the piece, flats-the opposite of sharps, vibrato-the resonating sound, and voice classifications like baritone which is in between bass and tenor. I also know a lot of music trivias. Jed Madela, is the first Filipino to win the grand prize in the World Championships of the Performing Arts. Vina Morales is the first Filipino and the first Champion in the Asian Aikon Music Festival. I have been a follower of local music contests. Sarah Geronimo won in the Star for a Night, of which her runner up is Mark Bautista. Rachel Ann Go won in Search for a Star. Eric Santos was grand Champion in Star in a Million beating the petite Cebuana Sheryn Regis. Coming from that show is balladeer Christian Bautista.

Poetically, music is defined as the language of the soul. Yes it is. I have a wide selection of songs in my heart and fellow toastmasters will you allow me to sing some of them? Just kidding. Songs tell a lot of stories. I have always been fascinated of Broadway songs like Somewhere form the musical West Side Story and On my Own from Les Miserables. There are songs that will inspire us and lift our morale called Gospel Songs. Gary Valenciano is know for his gospel songs like “Take me out of the dark, Warrior is a Child, and Natutulog ba and Diyos. The all time favourite genre of all ages, the ballads or commonly called love songs. Songs that come from the heart. Songs of lovers in love. Songs that will hold our breath. Songs that will palpitate our hearts. Songs of the heartbroken. Songs of the inspired. Top of my song list is Martin Nievera’s Each day with you and Brian Mcnight’s One last cry.

Putting my frustration into action, last year, I enrolled in a voice lesson class. However I will not tell you the name of the music studio and my voice teacher. I believe, it will do justice for the both of us. The lessons went on for 2 months. Sure did learn a lot from her but it came to a point where everything is routinely done. I stopped and tried to enrol in another voice lesson class. Sadly, we only had one singing session since her rate was double than my previous studio. I just sighed telling myself, I am not in perfect timing.

In the course of living this life, I have had received comments, destructive and constructive, but one thing remains for sure. I would still live this life surrounded with good music, singing my heart out when I’m in euphoria or depressed. I would still be singing, this is the moment, this is the day, when I send all my doubts and demons on their way, every endeavour, I have made ever, is coming into play, is here and now today.

Fellow toastmasters I still dream that one day I will be able to sing to all of you. Will you?